Initially when I started writing this entry, it was 5:00 am after a night of no sleep.
I am Jack's tired eyes. You would think that I'm getting an early start to my day. Wrong! Today (Tuesday) is just an extension of yesterday. I can't say my lack of sleep has been entirely unproductive. I was able to check-off some movies in my Netflix queue. I don't have anything, in particular, keeping me up. As of now, I lack for nothing. I probably should be lacking, but I have to give credit to God Almighty. That's not a "touchdown-catch" nod to the man upstairs, I seriously don't know how things are happening in the way they're happening, right now. All of the basic principles that I have been taught to quantify the things in life simply don't work.
I wonder if the apostle Paul felt the same way as he was, "on the road." See, he faced a completely different set of circumstances. Hardships, sleeplessness, hunger, thirst, lack of proper clothing, & a lack of shelter. These are all things Paul described in 2 Corinthians 11:27. I wonder if he ever had the, "why me," conversation with God. Here I am giving credit to God in the midst of for things I shouldn't have, while Paul (in my opinion) did without things he deserved. I mean, he uprooted his entire life, his status, only to go without basic necessities! Why is that fair?
At this point, you may expect a canned answer of, "It's a side effect of the fall," right? Nope. I hate that Paul, or anyone for that matter, did/do without basic human needs. However, Jesus on multiple occasions calls people from their comfort. In John 10, we see a wealthy ruler anguish when Jesus tells him to sells all his possessions and give the proceeds to the poor. The ESV version of the Bible says he, "went away sorrowful." My imagination tends to wander when I hear something like that. Did he walk away, head down, kicking the dust? Some people scoff at this young man. "How dare he not give it all up for the mission of Jesus Christ!" So my question to you is, would you? If you are so headstrong, then align the context of his situation with yours.
Bank account...close it
401(k)...cash it out
Any other worldly possession...purge yourself of them
Whatever that accumulates to, give that to the poor! Then Jesus, at one point, told his disciples to take nothing with them (Luke 9). If we put that all together, you start your mission with Jesus with nothing! Isn't that how most of us come to a relationship with Jesus? For me, it was realizing that I all I indulged in didn't satisfy. Some of you may be a little cynical to how we/I came to a relationship with Jesus. The sad fact is, Jesus isn't enough for some of us. Just like the young ruler, we can have a realization that we like our life the way it is. Without Jesus. Without Salvation.
I wish I could say that I have given my all in my relationship with Christ. Sadly, it's been one-sided on several occasions. A loving savior doesn't deserve that sort of treatment. I do thank God for the ocean-full of grace He has given me! Do I want to use grace as a cop-out? No. But I am so thankful for it. It's not because I deserve it, because I don't. I am thankful for all things that I have. Even in want, I want to still be thankful. Because above all things, I know I need Jesus.